It's been a few days since my last outburst, and I've had a lot of time to think about what I wrote. Without namin' names, I've also had a chance to talk with a couple fellow self-publishers and an "industry insider", and the truth is, everybody's hurtin' right now, not just me -- I found out that the numbers I reported earlier are actually kinda normal, all things considered. While misery loves company, it actually makes me feel a little worse knowing that the rest of the self-publishers are struggling just as hard as I am, a lot of them even harder. There's even talk amongst us of committing bribery on the off chance that might improve things.
It's hard to stay positive all the time, and getting some of that crap out of my system is necessary if I'm going to keep on keepin' on. Thanks to all of you for your encouragement, and your positive comments, especially from those of you who've been with the series from the start. It's sad that I'm still no closer to my goal of doing this full-time (or even part-time...) but it's no different than it ever has been for us artistic types. Things could be worse, I guess.
On Friday night, I was looking for something in my filing cabinet, and in going through my old papers, I found the hanging folder where I keep all my fan mail. It was really humbling and arresting, rereading all these letters -- actual handwritten letters in this day and age, covered in stickers and fancy ink and rubber stamps -- and thinking about all the individual people who liked my book enough that they were moved to take time out of their lives to let me know. How many people are blessed enough to have a stack of awesome letters like that?
You know what? Screw money. I've got what I need: You guys.
Thanks for helping me get my head back on straight, directly or indirectly. And hey, if you're around at Wizard World Chicago, or SPX, please do stop by and say hey. It's always appreciated.
I'm kinda out of the loop a lot these days so I missed the previous outburst you mentioned, but I infer form the rest that things ain't going so well. I'm always here if you'd like a phone call/venting session.