I've largely stopped talking about weight, and my issues with my weight, because a) nobody likes hearing people go on about their diets, and b) because I really don't like all the self-loathing that typically accompanies a round of fat talk.

This last month, though, I've got a couple of wake-up calls, the first from a health assessment, and the second from a friend. The health assessment, without getting into details was ... suboptimal. The friend's suggestion, on the other hand, was much more helpful.

But let me back up.

I've always, always had an aversion to writing down what I eat, because I hate all the accompanying self-loathing (see above). I hate what that kind of journaling does to me; I'm such a Type-B personality, and forcing myself to keep tabs on every calorie pushes my obsessive buttons in very uncomfortable ways. I tried to come up with a good metaphor, and finally said today that it's like stalking yourself. "Girl in apartment 2a ate breakfast alone. She had a single cup of Wheaties, a half-cup of skim milk, and an eight-ounce glass of organic orange juice. Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach."

So back to my friend's suggestion: that I use the free website, The Daily Burn. It allows you to log your intake and exercise, then spits out nice little charts and graphs to show your progress, and lets you know how far over or under you are on your daily goals. It feels like blogging, like filling out a spreadsheet, and the extra degree of separation from a notebook full of cribbed shorthand about portions and points makes the process more about the data and less about the self-judgement. This is literally the first positive experience I've ever had in keeping track of what I eat. Pretty much every food (and most prepackaged stuff, including all the foofy hippie brands I eat) and exercise (precor machine, kayaking, road biking) is already in the catalog, so logging your progress is a snap. I'm even finding myself overestimating portions just to be on the safe side, which is something I never did before.

Seeing a week's worth of food intake laid out as data allows me to see what I should and shouldn't be doing, where I need to improve, and what I can keep getting away with. I'm not starving, I'm not obsessing over portions or calories, and best of all I'm not having to restrict myself to a bunch of stupid rules. And my pants are already fitting better, so it must be working.

So -- thanks, Kind Friend, for the suggestion. It really helped.