Verdict?
The cylinder head's trashed. New one on order. Over a thousand dollars, not counting installation.
The driver's side door's power window is borked. Close to three hundred with labor.
May actually be done by the end of the week, if the parts all get here.
Anybody want to join me in a consolation margarita? I'd be most grateful.
(On the positive side, I am deeply grateful that I've managed to live a life where not having a second car is a minor inconvenience. Only needed to borrow Paul's car once.)